The eternal question of women seeking advice from a psychologist, astrologer, fortuneteller – how will relations with this man develop? With which, as a rule, there are so many problems that without a specialist it is already difficult to cope. As a rule, they ask for help even when the case is running. Because it’s late. It is much easier to recognize a potential problem in advance. And if this has already happened, it is necessary to reconsider your attitude to the situation, to yourself and to the tormenting man as soon as possible. And then the external situation will change – either the man who causes the suffering himself will disappear, or he will change (but this is extremely rare, unfortunately, rather as an exception to the rule). And this will open the way to a bright streak in a woman’s life, to a new relationship, this time, harmonious.
First of all, I want to note that every woman needs to treat herself with love and respect. Without self-love it is almost impossible to build a harmonious relationship. Because those around us relate to us in the way we relate to ourselves and, therefore, as we allow ourselves to relate to ourselves. Moreover, what kind of people are attracted to us depends on our internal relationship. Secondly, it is important that the matter here is not so much in the man as in the woman herself. Namely, which men she chooses. There are a number of types of men who are not capable of long-term and harmonious relationships (there are also women, but in this article we will talk about men). And until a woman realizes where she makes a mistake and does not internally review her attitude to herself and such men, she will step on the same rake again and again (as a rule, each subsequent case is heavier than the previous one). Often unsuitable men are attracted to women who can be called idealists, maximalists, overly romantic people who dream of perfect, passionate, all-consuming love. As a rule, this is a consequence of a lack of love on the part of the father. Having matured, such a girl subconsciously seeks to arouse love for herself just in such men who cannot give her this. And the pattern repeats over and over. Less often, the opposite situation occurs – excessive idealization of the father, great love on his part. – This is a consequence of the lack of love on the part of the father. Having matured, such a girl subconsciously seeks to arouse love for herself just in such men who cannot give her this. And the pattern repeats over and over. Less often, the opposite situation occurs – excessive idealization of the father, great love on his part. – This is a consequence of the lack of love on the part of the father. Having matured, such a girl subconsciously seeks to arouse love for herself just in such men who cannot give her this. And the pattern repeats over and over. Less often, the opposite situation occurs – excessive idealization of the father, great love on his part.
Types of men with whom it is dangerous to have a relationship.
He swears to you in love, in moments of intimacy he is caring and gentle. But in communication with you, he always looks at his watch, hides you from everyone, cannot meet you on weekends and holidays, saying that he loves only you. However, in reality in the relationship you are not two, but three. At the same time, he has a bunch of explanations why he cannot leave his wife, despite the fact that he loves only you, but does not love her and she does not understand him. Or, he will always promise you that the time will come soon and he will divorce and marry you. But all this will be … in the future. These are just words. But not actions. Although there are exceptions.
This type of man behaves with you just like a married man. But at the same time is not married. He looks like a great man with whom you feel good when you have fun together. But, as soon as you need help … he is not there, he is out of the access zone. He always has things that are more important than you. At the same time, he, like a married man, does not introduce you to his friends, does not tell you about his parents (not to mention introducing them to them). When he needs you, he is the covenant of you, and you are near. But he does not even allow the thought of being near you when you need it. He does not think about it. He is so comfortable and good. And if you get tired of it and you leave him, he will be … well too. Although, perhaps not immediately. Because for some time it will not be convenient. Cause you won’t be around
This is a merry fellow, a charm and a joker. He is charming, sweet and compelling. When you are together, he lifts you to a pedestal, makes oath promises, jokes. He is never bored with him. But … for no reason, suddenly does not get in touch with you, despite the promises. And it can disappear for weeks, not at all worrying about your experiences. Then he also suddenly appears and, with unchanging charm, looking in love with your eyes in love, apologizes. So what if you found evidence of his betrayal in the form of lipstick on a shirt? After all, he is so charming and so faithfully promises that it will never happen again. And you forgive, because you want to believe in a fairy tale. After all, this charming woman is so sweet and so skillfully speaks of love for you. But … he is irresponsible just as he is charming.
All his thoughts are about the same thing. All he needs from you is satisfying sexual needs. Sex replaces all the delights of a relationship between a man and a woman. He is not interested in heart-to-heart talks, he does not know how to express his feelings to you, he longs for only one thing. And all problems in relationships can only be solved with sex. But … at any moment when you will not be around, or when for some reason you can’t satisfy his suddenly flashed need, he can do it somewhere else. After all, sex is all that he needs from a woman.
This man calls himself self-sufficient and independent. He does not need your presence at all. Rather, he wants to be with you only occasionally. And not every day. After all, he is self-sufficient, and he is so well. You console yourself with the thought that you have one, because he is dating you. And that he will substitute his strong male shoulder in a difficult situation. But … this is an illusion. Because he does not need this. And it may very well be that at some point his self-sufficiency in relations with you will reach such limits that he will completely cease to need to spend his time on you at least occasionally. After all, the main thing for him is his freedom and independence.
Such a man will give you his attention in abundance, shower you with fervent declarations of love, fulfill your every whim without hesitation, he’s ready to literally do anything for you and cannot live without you. And soon you will not be able to be alone for a minute. Because he will be with you constantly. He wants to merge with you, always be one, and … will demand from you the same constant attention to himself. You will have to give all your time only to him. So, in the end, you ask yourself the question – does he really love you, or is it some kind of painful addiction?
Это сказочник-задушевник, превосходный знаток женской психологии. Он во всех красках живописует красоту любви к тебе и тебя как таковой. Красивые слова льются из него рекой. Ах, эти женщины, которые “любят ушами!”… Он бросает на тебя томные взгляды, он говорит о любви, много обещает, и постоянно лезет тебе в душу. Он тонко разбирается в малейших движениях человеческой души, отлично чувствует тебя и делает вид, что “в доску” тебе родной. Он превосходный манипулятор, владеет психологическими методы воздействия. Он знает твои мотивы и потребности, говорит тебе все, что ты хочешь, и много тебе обещает. И вскоре ты понимаешь, что он настолько влез в твою душу, что уже не отодрать. Он подсадил тебя на красивые слова, как на наркотик. Имеет привычку тонко выспрашивать, насколько ты его любишь, насколько он нужен тебе. И ты говоришь – да, люблю! Именно этого он и добивался. Но… скоро выясняется, что ничего, кроме слов, он тебе предложить не может. И не считает нужным. Он слаб и беспомощен, не выполняет обещаний, и многие даже не помнит. Действовать он не умеет. Вся его энергия уходит на красивые слова. Как правило, он имеет комплекс неполноценности, и задушевными беседами влюбляет в себя женщин. Для самоутверждения.
This is a man who loves only himself. He is simply not capable of loving someone else. Especially when it comes to a person who pays great attention to his appearance. Do you think it’s nice to deal with such an elegant handsome macho? However … this is only an appearance. The more carefully he chooses his clothes, shoes, perfume, hairstyle, the more he looks in the mirror and laments over the gained extra kilogram, the situation is more neglected – in front of you is a narcissistic narcissist. He really looks after himself very well, but … only himself. On others, it simply will not be enough.
A man whose interests are solely limited to his career will never make a woman happy. He disappears at work for days, and he does not care about anything except her. In this pair, the third man-work is superfluous. Probably, such a person is not very developed ability to feel, love, care. He replaces care and love with money earned at work. And if a woman tries to resent his inattention, he will reproach her for not appreciating his efforts to provide her with a sweet life. He simply will not hear her.
A man subject to harmful addictions can make any woman unhappy. And here neither the most wonderful compatibility, nor love will save. You can live with him, but … can you live happily? And is it worth it to suffer?
Such a man at first glance can defeat you with his strength and courage. He knows how to solve problems, he is active, strong, decisive. He is the master of life. As a rule, he occupies a high post and earns well. Behind it is like a stone wall. But at one point, you realize a stone wall has turned into a cage. Because such a man limits you in everything and dictates to you all your actions for a long time to come. Controlling every step. He perceives you as a thing, his property.
Is it worth explaining that if a man beats his woman every now and then, hoping for the well-known saying “Beats – means loves” is not the best way out. Moreover, he is not limited to beating alone. And do not skimp on insults and rudeness. If he is so aggressive that he easily raises your hand, it’s foolish to believe that you can remake it and you will heal, like in a fairy tale. Even if he suddenly begins to promise that he will never repeat this again. If he raised a hand against you, try to stop this relationship as soon as possible.
This is a special type of man. He may have any amount of money, but this has little effect on the degree of his greed. He can explain this to you for whatever reason, and even assure you that he is not greedy, but you should keep in mind that people are prone to “excuses”, even if they themselves are not aware of the true motives of their behavior. A man who spares money on his woman is not a man. And tomorrow, he will spare money for his child. And then what? Believe in miracles? He can spare money for everyone but himself. Or maybe greedy for yourself too. This is not so important. Another thing is important – it cannot be fixed. A man by nature is a defender, a getter. And if in your chosen one instead of these qualities is greed, everything is too neglected. Run away from him and have no regrets!
At first, he may seem so touching and unhappy that he will touch your soul. You will want to pour your tenderness onto this unfortunate creature, warm it, caress it and finally make it happy with your love. After all, he has such sad eyes, he is so serious and restrained. Probably, he has such a vulnerable and sensitive soul that he is afraid to show his feelings so that he is not injured or offended. And you take and melt the ice, because your love is enough for two. Stop! First of all, pay attention to your self-esteem! Why should you love for two? There will be no happiness in such a relationship. Because there is no harmony and equality. And will not be. Secondly, such stories, as a rule, end with the collapse of relationships, a lot of disappointments, illnesses and emotional traumas. Because an insensitive, indifferent, cold person who does not know how to love, not melted by your love alone. He does not need this. Although there are exceptions, when a man, at first cautious and restrained, as relations develop and trust grows in you, opens up and becomes loving and tender with you. But this usually happens pretty soon. And this is rare. If his coldness dragged on for months, or even years, it would be pointless to expect a miracle.
This money-obsessed type is hard to call a man. But he doesn’t think so. He is used to selling himself, his attractiveness (and often he is really damn attractive!). He is well versed in the intricacies of female psychology, skillfully manipulates and seduces. He can be a good lover. And he knows how to “throw dust in his eyes” so that you lose your head from him. Having previously learned all the features of your excellent material well-being. But … will he love you? He loves only your money. With this you need to be very careful and stay away from him. Whatever happens, as in one humorous story, “A friend met such a handsome man! Not a man, but a fairy tale! – he doesn’t drink, he doesn’t smoke, he doesn’t work … and he’s not going to. He lives in her luxurious apartment, ready for everything .
This is a man, in principle, not able to love. Although he himself may not think so. But he calls love anything but love itself. He can sincerely admit that he is not monogamous. Hiding behind slogans from books that a man is a sower and all that jazz. So everything is in the nature of man, and not his fault at all. But it may not say that. Not the point. If a man is walking, it is in vain to expect from him that he will finally settle down and stop going to the left. Even if he says that he loves only you, he will no longer be left from hiking. However, if you are ready for this, continue to be with him. And even to deceive yourself that you are happy and do not go to the doctors at all, do not experience an inferiority complex, etc. etc. But is it worth it?
This type is very similar to the inaccessible and independent. But most often he openly declares his bachelor principles. He does not accept the institution of marriage; he hates obligations. Taking responsibility for someone is simply stupid. What for? If you can live for yourself, a loved one, for your pleasure. And he needs to satisfy sexual needs with women to whom he is not going to offer anything but sex (because he owes nothing to anyone). And he will always find those. He does not know the charm of close relationships, care and family comfort. He does not understand this. The word “we” for him does not exist, or even enrages. And the word “ours, common” is generally like a red rag for a bull. Among bachelors, misogynists may also occur.
This is a man full of abstruse ideas and reasoning. He will quote classics and philosophers, he is well-read, intelligent and looks down upon this whole “imperfect world” with philistine foundations. Often he leads an ascetic lifestyle, can not earn anything (with loud slogans that money is so low and gone). It can be overly carried away by spiritual practices, Castaneda, yoga, etc. (which in itself is not bad at all, but not in the case of the gloomy philosopher). He ignores the physical, material world. May not take care of yourself, be untidy, groomed. He has low sensory sensations. After all, he is a bird of high flight. Spits on generally accepted foundations. He can also look down on marriage, cynically discussing “love for a woman as a wildflower – I saw, sniffed, admired and went on,” about free relations. This is a “high relationship.” Why would he burden himself with life and serious relationships? After all, he is above this, all so spiritual, intelligent and advanced.
This man is a typical loser. He cannot find a decent job, he always sits pennilessly in his pocket, or even on someone else’s neck. At the same time, he may consider himself an unrecognized genius whom no one appreciates and understands. In his failures, as a rule, blames others and circumstances. At work, they say, they don’t value him, they don’t raise his salary, his bosses are all bad, his colleagues are envious. His friends do not understand him, and therefore, by and large, he has no friends. And women are completely insidious creatures. And he had not seen a single good girl. It’s all bitch. To whine, to criticize everything and everything and beat to pity is his typical behavior. And even if at first he says that you may be an exception, and not like all these bitch, the likelihood that you will soon go to the same bitch of cohorts in his eyes is very high.
This is a type of weak, addicted person. As a rule, has a domineering mother, or was brought up by an imperious grandmother. Often he is the only son of his parents (or of one mother, whom her husband either abandoned or did not have one). And now he is subordinate to his mother in everything, she completely controls him. If he manages to flutter out from under her wing and he starts a relationship with you, firstly, his mother with a high degree of probability will not approve his choice (why should she compete?), And he will listen to her, or will behave with you as with a domineering and strong mother. She can’t take a step without you; she will be completely under your influence. Support and support in such a man is not necessary. And with his addiction, he will very soon begin to piss you off. Do you need an over-age infantile “son”, or is it still a man?
The list goes on. But the trends are clear. Of course, all these types are just conventions. And they, as a rule, are exaggerated, as in any typology. In addition, in nature there are practically no pure types. Usually, several of these characteristics, developed to one degree or another, are combined in one person. Some of them are mutually crossed. All people are not perfect. And this or that trait may be present in a normal man who knows how to build good relationships. But the most important thing is to understand to what extent it is developed. And if some of these traits are strongly and seriously expressed in a man, then of course you can build a relationship with him if you really want to (but is it worth it?). Moreover, “love is evil.” But! Is it love? Love is harmony. Although many call it strong feelings, where there is a lot of suffering, or passion, or painful dependence. Yes anything just not love. Remember that creating a long and happy relationship with such a man is almost impossible. Although many of our women live on the principle of “at least poor, but mine.” Here it is worth deciding for yourself – what you want – a happy family and a loving, reliable man nearby, who not only makes you happy, but you yourself are happy from what is nearby – you. Or else suffering, complexes, tears and psychosomatic illnesses. And remember, no matter what the man is, he should take care not only of himself, but also of you and your children. How about yourself. A game with one goal will not bring happiness. Here it is worth deciding for yourself – what you want – a happy family and a loving, reliable man nearby, who not only makes you happy, but you yourself are happy from what is nearby – you. Or else suffering, complexes, tears and psychosomatic illnesses. And remember, no matter what the man is, he should take care not only of himself, but also of you and your children. How about yourself. A game with one goal will not bring happiness. Here it is worth deciding for yourself – what you want – a happy family and a loving, reliable man nearby, who not only makes you happy, but you yourself are happy from what is nearby – you. Or else suffering, complexes, tears and psychosomatic illnesses. And remember, no matter what the man is, he should take care not only of himself, but also of you and your children. How about yourself. A game with one goal will not bring happiness.